Life Can't Be Perfect
by bechloe1802
Summary: This is the SEQUEL to 'Moments of Transition', set 4 months after the birth of Bella. Can Brett and Chloe overcome what is about to hit them?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Well, you all asked for it, so here is the sequel to 'Moments of Transition'. Now, I'm not sure if starting a new fic with two ongoing ones is a good idea, but I'm a little stuck with my other two fics at the moment, so I thought I'd give you this to tide you over.**

 **Don't forget to review and let me know what you guys think, or what you might like to see for this fic.**

Welcome back to my life everyone. Not much has happened in the four months since Bella was born, but some interesting things are happening at the moment, with my doctors. Let me explain exactly what's going on, but to do that, I need to go back a few weeks to my last appointment/check up.

" _Unfortunately..." Uh oh. Nothing good ever comes from that word._

" _Unfortunately, Brett, we're going to have to take a break from your hormones."_

 _Wait, what?_

" _We've found, in your blood work, that your T levels are way to high, for someone of your age, now stopping hormones isn't going to fix the problem, we'll need to continue testing your blood for a few months, just to keep an eye on things."_

 _I sit there, stunned, not sure what to ask first. I have so many questions running through my head right now and I'm struggling to keep up with them all, but one question manages to make its way out of my head and into my mouth._

" _What do you think the problem is?"_

" _Well, Brett..." He sighs and leans forward in his chair, placing his hands, folded on the desk, an unreadable expression on his face._

" _I don't know what has caused your levels to sky rocket like they have, especially since we watch your levels very closely, but I don't think it's anything to be too worried about at this point in time."_

 _I bite my lip and nod, still not quite comprehending what is happening._

" _So, what happens now?"_

" _Now, we stop your hormone treatments, keep an eye on your bloods and find the problem. Now, being off Testosterone is not easy. I tell a lot of my patients that it's sort of like heroin. You're body gets so used to it going into your system that it becomes almost dependant on it. Going off it, you will experience withdrawal. You're moods will slip and for the first 24-48 hours you will experience cold sweats, shivers and insomnia."_

 _This does not sound fun at all, but if it's what the doctor thinks is best for me then who am I to argue._

That was a couple weeks ago and my shot was due yesterday, so tonight I am expecting the symptoms the doctor told me about. I have forewarned Chloe, who looked a little worried when I told her, but she's still my loving, supportive wife, as she always is and promised to support me no matter what.

I've just pulled up at home after work and as I enter the house, I'm greeted the same way I always have been. My beautiful wife and daughter meet me at the door and Chloe presses a gentle kiss to my lips. I lean down and kiss Bella's head as I take my shoes off and dump my bag on the couch.

"How was work?" Chloe asks as she hands Bella to me and makes her way back to the couch, to watch TV.

"It was alright." I shrug. "Same old stuff, different day. I just wish Tommy would listen to me and actually try and help the label, instead of sitting in daddy's office, bossing everyone around."

Tommy is my Boss' son, who is 'looking after' the label while his father is in LA. I can't stand him. He's always late, never cares about meetings or appointments and couldn't give two shits about the staff that work there.

Chloe sighs as I sit next to her, sitting Bella on my lap, facing me. "You've just got to stick it out for a couple more weeks baby, then things will be back to normal."

I nod, I know she's right but God a couple weeks sounds like a lifetime away.

"How're you feeling?" She asks me and I nod, biting my lip.

"I'm good. I feel fine." I know she doesn't believe me, if the hesitant smile on her lips is anything to go by, but thankfully she drops the subject anyway.

The rest of the night goes by in a blur. We have dinner, put Bella to bed then head to bed ourselves. I pass out as soon as my head hits the pillow, but wake up a few hours later, cold, despite the summer weather and the blanket covering my body. I pull the blanket tighter around myself and try to subtly nuzzle into Chloe's side. I feel her sleepily wrap her arm around me, until she pulls away and turns the lamp on.

"Baby, you okay?" She asks, concern lacing her voice, and it's then I realise I'm shaking like a leaf in a strong breeze. I do my best to shake my head and use my eyes to beg her to hold me...Yes I'm a grown man, but I still love cuddles from my wife, get over it.

She gets the message and pulls me tight against her chest, leaving the lamp on to keep herself awake and alert. I nuzzle my face into her chest and let out a shaky breath as she gently rocks us and hums quietly, offering reassuring words every now and then.

God, it's going to be a long night.

 **A/N: I know it's short but it's brand new, so be nice. LOVE YOU AWESOME NERDS.**


	2. What Do We Do Now?

**A/N: Okay I know this is really short and I need to say that I am not a medical professional so I ask that we suspend our belief for this fic and imagine that what I am saying is medically correct this will go a whole lot better. Dont forget to review and let me know what you think!**

So as you know I have been taken off my hormones and today Chloe is taking me to the doctor to get the results of my most recent blood test.

"Brett. I'd like to do a CT of your cervix if I may."

That gets me concerned.

"Why? What do you want that for?"

I feel Chloe squeeze my hand and I sneak a glance up at her, not liking the look on her face.

The doctor sighs and reads through his notes for a minute before looking back up at me.

"Well. I'm concerned, if I'm being honest. Your blood work is very worrying and I'm worried that you may have something going on that I'd like to take a look at."

I swallow hard and nod as I look at Chloe who is biting her lip and twisting her wedding ring with her thumb.

What the fuck is going on?

The CT scan was done almost immediately and we are back in the doctor's office. The look Chloe had when I came out of the scan was not promising. She had tears in her eyes and barely said a word, just pulled me into a hug.

"Brett. Chloe. I am very saddened and sorry to tell you both this but, Brett the CT scan revealed growths in your cervix. They're quite large and naturally we would need to run some more tests but at this stage it's clear that this has a very strong possiblity of being cervical cancer."

Chloe lets out a sob and I sit there completley stunned.

Cancer.

"How?" Chloe chokes out brokenly.

"Well is there any history of cancer in your family Brett?"

"My mom had it too."

"Cervical?"

I nod my head stiffly and stare at my hands as the doctor keeps talking, about treatments and surgeries. Honestly I can barely hear him, my head swimming with thoughts.

Am I gonna die?

Who'll look after Chloe and Bella?

How will I tell my dad?

How do we explain this to Bella?

Bella.

My sweet little girl. She's too young to understand any of this. I dont want her to watch me die.

The car ride home is deadly silence as Chloe grips the steering wheel tightly and I just sit back and stare out the window.

I can't even imagine the feelings Chloe must be dealing with right now. I mean, yeah I'm the sick one but Chloe, she's so sensitive with emotions and when she's really hurt or upset by something she will cry for hours. She feels things so deeply and it hurts me sometimes, seeing her deal with negative emotions.

What do I do?

What are **_we_** going to do?

Once we're home I head straight up to the bedroom, locking myself in.

I know I shouldn't but I need time to myself to process all this.

Theres a knock at the door a minute later.

"Brett, can we please talk about this?"

"I dont want to talk right now Chloe."

"Well I do. Please baby, just let me in?"

I sit there unmoving until I hear her huff.

"Fine! Lock yourself away like you always do! I mean, who cares that I'm broken about all this!"

I dont know why but her frustration has made me so angry.

I get up and throw open the door, levelling her with a stare so cold, that water could freeze. She stares back at me with her hands on her hips and her eyebrow cocked.

"Fuck you! I need to process what the fuck is happening to me! Don't you dare try and make it about you when I am the one with fucking cancer! I'm the one that could fucking die!"

"You're not going to die Brett Mitchell! Don't you ever say that again!"

We stare at each other for a few minutes before Chloe lets out a defeated sigh and looks down, dropping her hands to her sides.

"Jesus Brett. Look at us. Not even 24 hours and we're fighting about it."

I sigh and pull her into a hug, kissing her head.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

"We'll make it through this. You'll see babe. We'll be fine." Chloe says, as if she's trying to convince herself more than she is me.


	3. Well That Hurt

**A/N: I know. I know. I'm a horrible person for being away for so long but please forgive me and I know this chapter's short but I hope you enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review and let me know what you think guys.**

"What do you mean cancer?"

"How is that even a question dude? I mean _cancer_ ; ya know cancer, the horrible disease that kills people."

"I'm sorry, this is just a bit much to process right now. What are they doing about it?"

"Well, for now it's mostly testing. They've stopped my hormones and I'll be starting Chemo in the next month."

"How's Chloe dealing with it all?"

"She's managing as best she can. I mean having to deal with a sick husband and a baby is going to be hard on her and I want to try my best not to be a burden on her and make things easier for her, but I have no idea how this is going to go."

Aubrey sighs and takes a hold of my hand.

"I'm here for you both Brett. I will be there to help both you and Chloe deal with everything. Even if you need me to take Bella for a couple days or something."

"Thanks Aubrey, now that you mention it would you be able to take her for the night? I have something planned for Chloe before I get too sick."

Chloe and I have been struggling a lot more than I've let on, but Aubrey doesn't need to know that we've been fighting like cat and dog for the last 3 weeks over all of this. It's strange to me, I feel like I'm losing my sanity, life and marriage all at once and I've been struggling to cope.

It's not like we're going to get a divorce or separate because of it, but it just feels like the perfect life we've built together is just crumbling down around me and I can't stop it or even slow it down. That's why tonight I've planned something special for the two of us. A nice dinner, walk on the beach and finishing with a movie of her choosing. I just want to be able to show her that I don't want to give up on us and just walk away because it's getting too hard.

"Yeah of course I can. It'll be nice to have some company in the house for once?"

"Trouble in paradise?"

"It's just...Stacie's always working, she's worse than me. At least I come home at night. She gets home well after I've gone to bed and she's gone again before I even get up."

"You need to talk to her Aubrey."

"Yeah I know but she's always busy with a project or assignment for work and if it's not work related then it's something for MIT."

"You'll work things out. You both love each other so strongly and I know you can sort it out."

"As will you and Chloe."

"Yeah..."

I send Chloe a text, letting her know Aubrey's on her way to pick up Bella and I'll be home from work early to take her out on a date night. I really hope tonight we can just be us. The us we used to be before my diagnosis, before everything got so fucked up.

"Brett, is this really necessary?"Chloe sighs as she comes out of the bathroom.

"You know we aren't doing well at the moment. I just want to take you out to remind us both of the reason we fell in love."

"I don't need a fancy date to remind myself of that. I wouldn't still be here if I didn't know in my heart that I love you."

"Chloe, we can't go a day without screaming the house down at each other." I say sadly, and it's true.

Every fight we have turns into a screaming match, complete with tears and sore throats and me sleeping on the couch. My back is killing me from that damn couch and I hate it. I miss sleeping next to her and I miss waking up with her in my arms. I can't believe how wrong everything has gone in a few short weeks.

The conversation stops there and I take her out for the perfect night, and it was, until we're lying in bed that night.

"I only scream at you because I hate you being so negative over all this." Chloe whispers in the darkness.

"How else can I be? I have cancer. There's a fucking strong chance I'm going to die."

"Jesus Brett, this is what I'm talking about. The talk about death. You're not going to die, yet you're so willing to give up without even trying to fight."

"What's the point in fighting something I can't win?" I sigh and sit up, turning on the lamp.

"I'm trying to be strong for our daughter. Why can't you man up and do the same?"

I let out a small noise of shock at her wording as I hear her gasp and start apologizing profusely.

"I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry baby, please come back to bed. You know I didn't mean it like that." She begs and pleads as I head towards the door to once again sleep on the couch.

I can't believe she just said that. My own wife questioning my masculinity. Before I walk out of the room I turn back to her.

"If you can't handle this then just leave." I say sombrely before heading downstairs to the couch.


	4. God

**A/N: I know I've been gone a real long time, but I'm working full time now so I don't have a whole lot of time on my hands to write for you guys. I hope you're all still with me though. For now you'll all just have to be patient with me and I will get new chapters out whenever I have time to. Love you all and thank you.**

 **Chloe's POV**

I don't want to leave him. I did that once before and look what happened there. I just...I need time to process everything and I really need him to stop talking so negatively about everything. I want to be there for him but I don't know how to be when I feel like he's just giving up and pushing me away. I can't handle losing him, but he's not the man I fell in love with anymore. He's a shell of who he used to be and I don't know if I love the man he's becoming. No, don't be ridiculous Chloe. Of course I still love him, I just don't know _how_ to love him right now.

Do I give him space?

Do I coddle him?

Do I talk about all this?

Do I ignore it?

I just wish someone would tell me what to do. I've never had to deal with this before. I mean, he'll barely look at Bella nowadays. It's breaking my heart to see him so broken, so isolated, so numb.

Am I selfish to think that he should try and be strong for our daughter and himself like I have been trying to for him?

I just need answers. I need him back. My Brett, my husband. It's killing me to see him slowly give up every day that passes and not even try to fight for his family. Then again, I don't even know how he's feeling.

I used to.

We used to talk about all those things. I used to be able to read him like a book and now I can't even open that book anymore. It's closed and locked with a key.

God, I just wish someone would tell me if it's even worth it anymore.

All the arguments. The fighting. I simply cannot keep doing this every day.

I don't think I have the strength to be there for him until I know I'm okay, that I can do this and right now I don't feel like I can.

I want to.

Oh God I want to but I just don't feel like I have it in me anymore.

Everything in my head is screaming at me to leave for a while, just take Bella and go, but my heart is begging, pleading for me to stay and deal with what God has dealt for me, for us.

I used to always listen to my heart over my head without hesitation but this time, everything is just so mixed up and I'm so confused about what I even want now.

The only two things I'm certain of anymore are that my daughter is the most precious and pure thing in this world and Brett...I love him.

God do I love him, but the rest is a mess.

I love him, but is that enough?

I used to think so.

I used to think our love was stronger than anything life could throw at us and now we can't even be in the same room together without arguing over something, anything, no matter how trivial.

I just...

I just don't know.

God help me, give me some kind of answer.


End file.
